Half A Lifetime Ago….

When I first decided to start posting random thoughts here at the good ol’ Diary Of A Gladman blogspot the plan was to try to post a new blog entry every week.

That didn’t really work out, if I’m lucky I get around to posting one every month.

I also wanted to kind of split the entries into two different subjects. Comics and music. Two things I love a great deal. Well as of late most of the entries have been some what “comic related” and more often than not they have been promoting something either tied to Main Street Comics And Games, Champion City Comic Con, a MTV writing contest, Twilight Star Studios or a combination of all the above. Well this blog entry does not have anything to do with any of those usually very cool subjects.

And the subject matter this time around does lend itself to my interest in music to a certain degree.

I admit when it comes to both comics and music I think the best stuff was created in the late 70’s, the 80’s and the early 90’s. As of March of this year I pretty much stopped collecting comics…new comics that is. I still buy about four a month which include two different Captain America titles. And my interest in attending out of town comic conventions has dwindled a great deal as well due to the fact there’s less than a dozen books I really need to complete what I think is a damn good collection. And I started reading my own collection in March….man this has really been great. Out of about 4,000 books I have read a little over 900 comics and still going strong. ( until just last September I had almost 14,000 books before selling a great deal of the collection off and trimmed the fat to just the stuff I couldn’t live without.) I try to read at least two books a night…sometimes I read as many as seven.

About the same time I started listening to my own personal c.d collection, working my way through the hundred and hundreds of compact discs that I own including all the Megadeth, Iron Maiden (and the Bruce Dickinson solo stuff, Black Sabbath,  Judas Priest, Kiss, and Motley Crue stuff….among others.

I usually listen to one c.d a day as I drive back and forth to work. And a little over a week ago while driving home I was listening to Motley Crue’s Dr. Feelgood album, which for the most part still holds up pretty well even today.

While stopped at a light I decided I wanted to see exactly what year this disc was released. A quick glance gave me a shocking answer.

1989. I have become that guy that listens to only music that is almost thirty years old. This album of course isn’t quite thirty years old…but the Crue’s debut album Too Fast for Love….

…. which I had just listened to days before and which still rocks to this very day….did come out exactly thirty years ago, released way back in 1981.

Dr. Feelgood on the other hand is only 22 years old.

Only 22 years old. I’m forty four now….this album came out when I was 22 …..half a freakin’ lifetime ago!

Back in 1989 I was married to my first wife, my daughter was just a year old and for the most part my life was happy. In some ways happier. Mimi ( the first wife in question) was a stay at home mother by choice…I was working a landscaping job in Centerville Ohio making a whooping $5.50 an hour and we were renting a four room house in the country that belonged to my parents.

I owned a 197o Chevy Impala that had a defroster that didn’t work and a 1977 Olds Cutlass Supreme ( the second of this year and model…I loved those 77 Cutlass Supremes)…which only had one windshield wiper….on the passenger side.

So I hoped for a lot of sunny days or at the very least rainy days that weren’t too cold.

But for the most  life back then was …I don’t know. Fresh. Vibrant. Stress free and full of energy. I wasn’t trying to be part of a band, although I did own a five piece Rogers drum kit that I kept stored away in the bedroom closet and that I would occasionally assemble in the living room and beat the Hell out of them when the wife and kid wasn’t at home….actually Raichal (my daughter) loved dancing to the drums when I played them…she did well for a kid who was just learning to walk.

I wasn’t trying to create comics either. Matter of fact I wasn’t even collecting comics back then, although I did own about 50 issues of Dr. Strange that I kept stashed away in a cabinet in the living room.

I was collecting comics before I met the first wife, but sold off my collection of about 3,000 books not long before I met her  (for a whooping $500) to purchase band equipment. At the time I met her the band I was playing bass for (The fourth or fifth version of a band called White Warlock) was about to break up and I sold my knock off Rickenbacker bass to buy the drum kit off my first boss….on a spur of the moment. But that was it. My dreams that I needed to be…something more than I was at the moment just didn’t exist at that time. I was content just being …..me.

Back then I didn’t want to be a rock star or a comic book creator….I was happy working my job, being a husband and a father. I could have spent the rest of my life doing just that.

But in less than five years later…that moment in time was lost to me.  It slipped through my fingers and crashed at my feet.

I hate to fail at anything , and although I am happily married to my second wife now and during the divorce from the first wife decided I was going to do things I always wanted to do but never got around to … record an album….(actually ended up recording five), write a novel (wrote four of these of which only the first has been published to date) and release my own full length comic (closing in on releasing my 50th comic book that I am either an artist or writer)….I will never shake the feeling I failed at keeping that first marriage together.

I failed to keep that moment in time, when everything seemed so easy and carefree together for what now seems just a few moments lost forever in time.

Back in 1989.

Half A Lifetime Ago.

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One Response to “Half A Lifetime Ago….”

  1. As someone whose own first marriage failed, I know what you are talking about. What I am grateful for is the three beautiful children that marriage brought into this world and made it, at least for me, a much happier place. Now both my ex and I are happily remarried, with no hard feelings, the past is the past. Sometimes we have to take a few hard knocks to gain some wisdom.

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